VII Years
by JadeWeapon
Summary: Cloud had loved Tifa, his 'one and only', but in a sick way...7 years pass and he is trying recover his memories, only to find a disturbing past revealed...Plz, R and R :Rated M:later lemons&chapters. On Hiatus.
1. VII Years Gone By

VII Years Gone By...

It was a very pleasant night, I remember...

I was still a teenager at the time, not really caring what people thought about me, but I wanted to be something more. I felt a trifling need to be important, to be known. As if the answer to everything was in my blood and that the world should know me as someone great, beyond comparison. I wanted to join the ShinRa and be like those guys in the ShinRa SOLDIER commercials. So strong, so brave, so cool, that, I had to be one of them. Marching proudly into battle with famous generals, beating the enemy by a landslide, returning home without a scratch, and being a hero. It was all too promising, there just seemed to be so many opportunities for the men in SOLDIER. I guess I just needed to find someone to be best friends with. Someone I knew I could count on through thick and thin. I had never really known my father and my mother was my only real family, and so what I was really looking for was someone to look up to. Someone to look out for me, while I looked out for them. Someone I could count on...

I was walking the streets of Nibelheim, going to see my close friend, Tifa. That night had been especially warm, I can remember. I spotted an old dog, guarding the over-crowded town pub. It was always over-crowded, people seemed to be celebrating a birthday tonight, as there was much festivity going on in the pub. Smiling, I ventured further into town and found that I had gotten to the meeting place far before my friend had. Naturally, I would pretend to be mad when she got here, but for now, I decided that just sitting down on the side of the well waiting for her would be nice. Just looking at the sky, I felt as though I shouldn't leave. It was beyond beautiful, the perfect sky, magnificent, as if a master painter had let his fantasies run over his palatte and onto the sky, dripping with lovely blues and blacks as they shot toward their destinations.

Only one other time would the sky look as fabulous...when fireworks went up. Fireworks would shoot across the sky like bullets and turn into an array of colors leaping out in all directions, somehow looking like sea stars as they danced across the night sky. But tonight, was better that any firework show I had ever seen. I looked up to find two big brown eyes gazing into my own.

"Tifa! You're here, I thought you weren't going to show up!"

"I said I was gonna come Cloud, what did you call me out for?"

"I wanted to tell you, that I'm heading off for Midgar soon, and that I probably won't see you for awhile..."

"Ughh, that's...great...I'm happy for you..." She frowned slightly as she turned away from me

"C'mon Tifa, I'll always be your friend." I smiled sheepishly, knowing that she wasn't too thrilled with the idea of me leaving Nibelhiem.

"Why do all the boys have to leave? Alright, Cloud, you can leave, but you have to promise me something." She said this last bit quietly, almost shyly.

"Anything," I said bravely as she sat down beside me, kind of blushing.

"Well, whenever I need help, I want you to save me..."

"What?"

"Whenever I'm in a bind, and I need help, I want you to save me, alright?" She smiled and finally looked at me, realizing that by what she had just said, I was looking a little shocked. I smiled in return.

"I Promise." It was short, sweet, and to the point. I had never really liked Tifa the way the other boys had and that was probably why she had liked me. I didn't really realize it at the time though, I thought we were just really good friends, almost best-friends. But...not-quite...

"Cloud?"

"Huh?"

"What are you going to do when you get to Midgar?"

"I'm going to work for ShinRa, just like the Great Sephiroth! I'm gonna be famous one day, you'll read about me in the newspapers!"

"Hmmm, you've got big dreams, don't you?"

"Yeah, I've got a lot of things I want to do before I hit my zenith..."

"I guess I'm just going to sign up for Martial Arts with Zangan..."

"Zangan? You mean the guy who travels the world looking for worthy students?"

"Yeah, that's the one...he asked me if I would like to join, and I said no, but, since you're not staying, I think I should join now..." She smiled with an empty smile and blinked. Looking up at the stars, her smile began to widen. Something ticked inside my brain, and until just that moment I had never noticed how perfectly adorable she was.

"They're really beautiful tonight..."

"like you..." I said under my breath as I studied her beauty.

"What?" Her eyes went wide as she glanced at me.

"Oh, nothing..." I shook my head as I looked at the sky too.

"Doesn't it...doesn't it look like blue lifestream?" She said aloud as she stood up and admired the magnificent sky.

"The stars look like glowing Materia, they're stunning..." I too stood and placed my hand on her shoulder. My blonde hair began to sway with the light breeze, but not once did it fall. Her big brown eyes looked into my blue ones and I felt so lost I wasn't sure about leaving anymore. I knew it was the right thing to do, so I could support my mother and make money, _but wasn't love enough to live on_? **No**, **it could never be enough**, I just didn't **_understand_** at the time...

It seemed as though I could never understand the true meaning of life, love or happiness...as I had never really experienced any of them. Sure I was alive, but you can't really **live** without a **life**. Love, to me, felt as platonic and stoic as friendship...I had never experienced anything more than that. Happiness, now **that** was a different story. If I had ever felt true happiness, surely I would remember it, but what I had felt in my life, was not true happiness. What could really be considered happiness though? Would it be a kid racing downstairs to find a brand new bike under the tree...or could it be someone feeling just as happy because they gave their life to someone else? But what had I ever felt, except for scorn for my father, hatred for those who hated me...what had I felt? The path to the future is always a dark one, shrouded in mystery and doubt. So far, I could only tell that my path would be worse than most...due to the fact that what I had wanted most was to be important, to be known...

Such morbid thoughts had always plauged me, always followed me like a dark, ominous cloud, waiting to spill more bad news onto me. 16 years old and already I was thinking about how I was going to make it out into the world, make myself into someone the world could know. Everyone had those thoughts, those thoughts that they would never let anyone know, or anyone hear. Those where the thoughts that screamed to be revealed the most.

At the moment, I didn't care though...when would I get another chance to express my feelings? I turned her towards me.

"Tifa?"

"Yes...Cloud?"

"You...you...like me...don't you?" I said shyly as I bit my bottom lip.

"Y-y...why do you ask?" Even in the dark I could see her blush...it was so cute.

"I just have to know Tifa, if you really do..."

"Cloud...I----I---Yes...I...d-do..." She trembled slightly, then she looked away.

"Alright..." That was all I needed to know...all that mattered...

To be Continued-In Chapter 2-VII Years Have Passed...


	2. VII Years Have Passed

VII Years Have Passed

It was a very strange place, that place I was stuck in.

Blinding light seemed to emanate from everywhere, yet there was no warmth...the air I breathed was stale and old, like air in a mausoleum. I felt life sources around me, yet, it felt like I was in water. I could feel the current change, and suddenly, Tifa was standing beside me. How did she get there? Isn't that place the lifestream...didn't I fall in? Then I remembered, she fell in with me...we came there together.

"Cloud, where are we...?" She sounded scared but composed. I was glad she was with me, but, something was wrong, something didn't feel right. I didn't remember my past...and I felt as though I had no future. She grabbed my hand and I couldn't help but feel as though I didn't know her. It was Tifa Lockheart, my friend, my ally. Who else could she be? But somehow I couldn't remember where I knew her from. The light around the place turned dark for a second, then back into blinding rays. Something amazing had happened, and we found ourselves still in the lifestream, but somehow, it had grown to resemble our old town, Nibelhiem. It was starting to come back to me. A boy came up to us and looked into my eyes, he seemed unafraid. I knew the child. His blue eyes, strange blonde hair, shy outlook...the child was me. I looked to be about 12 years old, and I was staring up at me. It hits me then.

'Why, I must be in my memory, and Tifa's consciousness is with me! The lifestream has brought me to this place as well as Tifa, but, why? Is it trying to help me see who I am, who I really am? Aeris, she's in the lifestream, she must be trying to help me.'

Twelve year old Cloud Strife looked at me, grabbed my other hand and we head straight for the town well. Tifa started breathing quietly and turned pale, for what reason, I don't know. I smiled reassuringly at her, but she looked at the ground and her eyes began to swell with tears. What happened? I don't remember. Tifa looked at me, looked back at the ground and closed her eyes. Twelve year old me seemed confused too. Without warning, an eleven year old Tifa came out of her house and the lot of us were transported to his time and memory.

"Who are you?" Tifa looks at me and giggles, the other kids she is with ignore the blonde. They scoff at me and turn to look at Tifa's piano. I am standing near the well, which is conveniently situated just next to Tifa's house, where I could talk to her from her upstairs bedroom.

"I asked 'who are you'?" She smiled and instantly I revealed my name.

"I'm Cloud, Cloud Strife..."

"Alright, come on up! My name is Tifa, Tifa Lockheart! Nice to meet you!" I raced up the stairs to her bedroom and smiled for the first time in ages. This was the first time we had ever met.

Twelve year old Cloud smiled and released my hand, he giggled and ran to eleven year old Tifa. They began to walk away, back out of town, where I had first seen the younger me, then, they just disappeared! Within a second, another me appeared, but this time, he was sixteen year old. He was being supported by older teen, who at first, I could not recognize...

I knew his name, it was on the tip of my tongue, but somehow, I couldn't remember...

'Follow me...' echoed through my head, like the ripple of splashing water. I did as I was told and follow the two wounded men. Tifa walking behind me. We spring into another memory and place.

"...Cloud..."

This memory seemed to be many random pieces stuck together...

"Hey, this is your home town, isn't it?" Sephiroth walked across the town, both I and my friend walked beside him. The towns people looked relieved to see us.

"Traitors, you're all traitors, you took the planet from the Cetra, from my Mother! You...you traitor!" Sephiroth turned his back on me, laughing menacingly as he looked through more books, throwing them crazily and heatedly. That was the end of the Sephiroth I had looked up to...

"Sephiroth, what have you done! I looked up to you, I wanted to be just like you! My mother, my town, my friends...give them back!" I screamed out, I wasn't sure exactly how i had done it, but i had stabbed Sephiroth completely through with my friends blade...the Buster Sword.

"Don't worry Tifa, I'll save you..." She was so weak, so fragile, it was amazing that she was still alive...as she had been stabbed by Sephiroth's Masamune. I pulled her to safety and calmed her down. I looked over at my friend, who was slightly wounded.

"So, Cloud, what are you gonna do when we get to Midgar? Nah, I'm just playing, I'd never leave you, man, you're my best-friend! I could do anything though, that;s why I want you to come with me, maybe we can start a business!" he was sitting beside the slightly comatose me. I could hear and him, and could respond, had i wanted to, but, I just listened to him. he kept rambling...

Best...Friend?

"Cloud, get out of the way!" We were suddenly under fire, by who, I didn't know...

What...what happened?

"Zack...please...don't die! I thought you were going to be there for me! Going to stand by me!" he had been shot too many times to count and by those dirty Shinra dogs! I hated them...I hated the ShinRa...I could never forgive them!

Zack...that was his name...he was **my** _best friend_...

"...Cloud..." he muttered despite the variously places where blood spewed out his wounds. he was bleeding to death, and he had saved my life. Thanks to him, I could live, I could do something with myself...I said to myself, I'll never forget you, Zack...

But...I did forget him...I forgot my best-friend in the whole world...sacrificed his life to save my own...

The two wounded men walked away...vanishing into the distance...

Not a second later...the most forgotten memory rose from the darkness, followed by a scared, pale Tifa, about fifteen years old. It looked as though she had not yet been wounded by Sephiroth. The memory of my sixteen year old self with Tifa following him passed me, revealing a disturbing truth. The sixteen year old me, who had not yet left for Midgar to be in SOLDIER, was carrying a chain. My eyes drifted from the chain start to the chain end, where I was met by the fifteen year old Tifa's broken stare. She was wearing a collar, like a dog, and, my younger self was pulling it!

"Tifa! Tifa, what's going on!?"

"_Cloud...you don't remember_, do you?"

"No...what am I supposed to remember?"

"_You...you raped me..._Cloud..."

To be Continued in Ch.3-VII Years of Pain


	3. VII Years of Pain

Ch.3-VII Years of Pain

"What!?" I shook my head in disbelief as the younger me dragged the chain lazily, with Tifa on the other end. I stared awestruck, I mean, it just wasn't possible! This was Tifa Lockheart we were talking about...my good friend, my childhood buddy, my pal. It had to be a lie. Or so I thought...

The younger me grinned mailiciously as he grabbed a hold of the door to the Pub. Pulling it open, he glanced back at us over his shoulder, and nudged his head, motioning for us to follow him. Older Tifa walked hesitantly behind him and I followed. Falling forward into a dark oblivion...we lapsed right into my old memory...

"_Cloud...I-I do like you..." She smiled and put her warm hand on my shoulder as her smile turned into a grin. Why hadn't I seen it before, that I had liked her? It wasn't fleeting feelings or anything or the sort, I could feel it. It felt as if I had a deep cut in my heart, as if something was pressing it to keep it beating. It felt so strange and yet so familiar, as if my whole existance was to be shattered if I did not fulfill what I had wanted. At the moment, it was Tifa Lockheart, whose heart I wanted..._

_Muttering incoherently, I turned myself towards her, not wanting to spoil our little 'moment'. Something crept into me, filling my already twisted heart with cruel intentions. I smiled nastily as I looked down at her. She looked scared now, more than ever, which only made my intentions turn even more sick_.

"What's going on? Why don't I remember this!? Oh...OH GOD NO!" I screamed out as I was pulled unwillingly back into the memory...

"_Please Cloud, don't do this..." Her cries weren't going to stop me...I had gotten this far and I refused to turn back. I was straddling her, she struggled beneath me, squirming frantically._

_"Shut up! I thought you said you liked me...or are you too much of a whore to admit it now?" I sneered in her face...she was crying, and no matter how wrong it felt...it was twice as pleasurable to watch her struggle._

_"Get away from me, you aren't the same Cloud that I love!"_

_"Love? Hehehe, do you honestly think that I believe a little whore like you knows what that word means?" I prostrated her from moving, tieing her hands to the bed with the electric tape I had on my nightstand. I could make out her struggling form in the darkness, her cheeks were wet with tears. Something primal stirred from within me as I bent down deftly to lick the salty tears from her face. Why did she have to struggle so much? It was really annoying..._

_"Stop struggling or I swear to God, I'm going to slit your throat..." I threatened her with the bowie in my left hand as my other hand snaked up her blue shirt. She shivered suddenly, biting her bottom lip hard enough to the point where it bled. The blood trickled slowly down her chin as she stared at me with her wild eyes._

_"Tifa..." I calmed my voice._

_"Why...?" She cried out softly..._

_"Because..."_

_"Because what, Cloud, one minute you were my friend, the next minute, your straddling me with one hand up my shirt and the other pointing a knife at me!" She screamed out. My hand flew to her face slapping her hard as she began to weep loudly. Angrily, I grabbed the tape and ripped off a piece large enough to cover her mouth. Quickly, I covered her mouth with the tape and continued my onslaught. Ripping the shirt completely off of her, I miraculously took off her bra with it. What I saw was quite impressive. For a 15 year old girl she was as voloptuous as a woman already_...

"What...what's...happening...I-I-I...I don't remember" I clutched my head in pain, not remembering a single event from that night except for the star gazing we had done earlier.

_"Please, I'm begging you, don't do this!" All of her clothes had been removed, as well as mine, she still had managed to lick the tape until it wasn't sticky anymore. _

_"Offer me everything..." I said, my voice harsh, yet seductive in nature. She stared at me...her eyes were red from crying, but she no longer shed tears. _

_"What do you want?"_

_"For you to obey me...if you can do that for me, I'll make it as painless and fast as possible. But..if you can't, you'd better believe I'm going to take my time with you, sweetie..." I closed my eyes for a second, savoring her shallow breaths as they came all too fast._

_"Never." She spat out, glaring at me, a sudden bit of courage leaping up from her throat, making me chuckle deeply. The wind blew in from the open window, making her seem a litle less confident as her nipples peaked from the breeze. _

_"Have it your way, Tifa..." I growled malevolently...spreading her legs as she tried desperately to snap them shut. One glare from me stopped her in her tracks._

_"Resist it, as much as you can, and it'll only make it all the more painful, love..." I said as she began to weep again, and this time, I wasn't opting to take any more tears from her. I quietly layed my hand on her cheeks, she froze. Kissing her bare-neck softly, I pressed the tip of my member against her entrance. She was weeping softly as I entered her. God, she was tight! She cinched around me and I snapped my eyes shut from the pain I was feeling. I withdrew, then pounded back in, the force from my pumping making her whine erotically. I opened my eyes, smiling down at her as her body couldn't help but give in to me. I entered again, pushing myself deeper as she began to moan aloud. Sighing, the methodical pumping grew faster. She cried out as she began to orgasm. Oh, I was still far from orgasm, it would take atleast twenty minutes before I would hit mine."_

"I-I don't believe it, not for a second..." I clutched my heart, holding myself as Tifa stood beside me. She knelt down and hugged me...

"I'll never leave your side, Strife, I'll always be there for you..." She smiled. I know now that inside, she was dying from my carelessness.

"_She was no longer crying, but her eyes were so depressed, so beaten. I thrust earnestly in and out of her entrance, which was already stained with her juices. She had come three times already and I still hadn't hit my peak. That best feeling I had ever felt, and I hadn't even felt it yet. _

_Then suddenly, I couldn't stop myself, the pleasure was growing to a point to where I had to groan out load. All I had done before was sigh, but now, I couldn't stop moaning. I was beside myself from the carnality of it all. It felt so wonderful to be inside of her. Our bodies in unison, against each other, it was as human as I'd ever felt. Before this night, I was nothing, but now...I was everything. I was master, I was the inflictor of pain, I was God. I could do what I wanted, to who I wanted, and no one could tell me otherwise. I gave one last thrust before I finally stopped, still inside of her. But when I looked at her face, it all went away, all the pleasure I had felt...disappeared. Her eyes bored into my own and it finally hit me, what I did, was terrible. One of the most terrible acts to man and I had done it to my friend no less. What kind of thing am I?"_

I held my head, defeated. What the hell was I? A rapist as least...a criminal. Why did it take me so long to remember this?

"Tifa?" I opened my eyes, looking at her with a lost look.

"Yes, what is it Cloud?" She held my arm protectively.

"Why, why did you ever forgive me...what I did...what I did was terrible..."

"I...I can never forget what happened that night, but I just can't hold anything against you, you're still my friend and I think that it was just really confusing, you were probably confused is all...at least that's what I thought."

"Yes, but, I knew I knew the whole time, and it didn't matter to me, nothing mattered...everything was so...pointless. It was only when I left that I realized just how much I could do if I wanted to put in the effort."

"And now, we're here together, saving the world Cloud...something as meaningless as that night should be forgotten, for both of our sakes. And for the sake of continuing our journey." Tifa looked at me and I could tell that there was something she had to say that she wasn't letting out.

"I know you want to say something Tifa, you can't let it sit there, you have to let it out."

"I-I..." She froze, not wanting to say anything.

"Tifa"

"I can't, I just won't say anything..."

"Tifa, you have to tell me what's going on..." I looked at her, trying as hard as I could to keep my senses. Without warning, she turned away from me, holding her arms, hugging herself, nearly crying...

"..._He came to me...in my sleep...and he wouldn't leave me alone_..."

"Who?"

"He was there, always there, and he still comes to me, still keeps me awake at night, awake in terror and I hate him so much...but...but I...I love him..."

"WHO!?"

To Be Continued-in Chapter 4.VII Years of Secrets


	4. VII Years of Secrets

VII Years of Secrets

VII Years of Secrets

It was all starting to make sense to me now.

"You see Cloud, he had been so kind when we first met, so gentile, so perfect, and I know that even though it could have been considered statutory rape to have been with him, it simply didn't matter…nothing mattered, just him and me." Tifa looked at me and looked away, ashamed of the name she would undoubtedly let escape from her memories…let escape from her heart.

"I love Sephiroth…" it was at that moment that an image appeared, Sephiroth walking and talking to Tifa in my memories, why had I not seen this earlier? Why couldn't I see it all along? Without warning, I was pulled into a memory, a memory of Tifa's.

_Sitting across the dinner table, there are 5 of us here. I am here, Tifa is here, Zack is here, Zangan is here…and Sephiroth is here. Tifa sits directly across from the general while I sit aloof, across from an empty chair._

_It had been so cold coming back from the mountains, coming back from the Reactor. We had all simply piled into the inn and ordered food instead of going to sleep right off the bat. _

_The candles on the table flickered like weak fireflies, reflecting the flames off my glass of water onto my place setting. As I ordered my drink, I look down the table ashamedly at the girl I had once raped. How she had come to forgive me, I may never know. Things had become much less friendly between the two of us after that incident. _

_I had not wanted to hurt her, but I had anyways. I was just lucky that she had been a loyal friend and had told no one of our secret. _

_Our eyes met…and I smiled weakly to let her know I was there. She looked away quickly, falling into the gaze of Sephiroth, who unbeknownst to myself, had been staring at Tifa since she had sat across from him. It seemed that almost as soon as the two locked eyes, something stirred beneath the surface…_

"…all these memories…why are these important to me now?" I shook my head as a sort of dizziness seemed to want to take over. Struggling to keep my balance, I headed in the direction of the inn, the place of memories changing before me. Every time I looked through a window, Sephiroth and Tifa were there…a silent couple that wouldn't tell the world that they existed, for fear of prosecution.

"Why…why did you…how could you ever love a thing like him??" I all but yelped as my strained heart finally revealed the purpose of this exercise. Why was I remembering a phase of Tifa's life…she had been a doll, a puppet to me. Why did my heart ache so wantonly when I saw him with her? Why did my eyes cloud over with a passionate hate for the man every time I spotted them in a back alley, doing some wholly sinful thing? Is it possible that I…I love Tifa? To this day!?

"He was there…he knew…" Tifa began to sob as I turned to look at her…my eyes a little colder than I would have liked.

"Knew what?"

"Knew about what you did to me…" Tifa looked away…closed her eyes, sighed and looked back.

"He knew!?"

"He had guessed when we ran into each other at the item shop…I had been staring at you for 20 minutes while you talked to Zack. I started crying and tried to run out of the store, but he caught me by the arm, covered my mouth, and dragged me into a small room in the back of the shop." She looked at me quietly and I urged her to continue the story.

"I thought he was going to rape me, or kill me or something, but when he pulled me into that room and locked the door, he held me to him…he told me that everything was going to be alright, to forget about the past, to live for the present. He kissed me and I knew at that moment in time that he was going to be there for me when I needed him…" Tifa frowned as she looked at me.

"but…what about me..?" I said in my defense, I still had something important to say to her, if only she would hear me out.

"What about you Cloud, you skipped town right after you had your way with me, what was I supposed to think?? That you loved me!?" She seemed to scream at me, but it was more of a demand.

"I…I needed you too Tifa…I needed you more than you will ever know…"

At this revelation, a sound caught my attention. As I looked atop the Nibelhiem mansion in the distance of the memory landscape, a man shrouded in a black leather coat kept his eyes trained on Tifa and I, holding a long sword strongly and threateningly as he leered at the two of us from atop his perch.


End file.
